Don’t it always seem to go…..

I haven’t been raccoon hunting in years so I decided to break down and buy me a great coon hound.
My wife and I searched and searched the internet for a good “coonhound”,and we came up on what we considered a bargain.
The add stated that she was a “proven” treeing “coonhound”.The only problem was she was located in Kentucky.That alone should have been a red flag waving in front of me,,,but it wasn’t anything that really bothered me,after all Kentucky wasn’t that far from my home state of Illinois.
So After saving $200.00 for the trip and $500.00 that was being asked for the hound we decided to head out for a trial run with the dog.
I contacted the seller and asked if we could see her in action.The seller said “Why hell yes,y’all come on down this weekend and we’ll give her a good run!” We did just that,and we arrived at the address given us.We met with “Jim” (a fictitious name).We were greeted with the great southern hospitality,,,you know,,”Hey y’all welcome,come join us fer a bit o supper!”I know I shouldn’t have but I asked “What we having’ for supper?”
Jim politely said”Iffen ya have to ask,y’all ain’t very hungry!”(Hmmm,must have hit a soft spot)I apologized and we ate our supper.Now if you haven’t ate in a southern home you don’t know what your missing and if you have,,,you don’t know what your eating.
By the time we finished it was getting pretty late so I asked “Jim” “When we gonna run the dog?”He immediately answered”Hell we can go now,she has been raring to go since it got dark.”
So I got on my boots and what I considered good coon hunting clothes,good hiking boots a thin jacket and a hat.Jim laughed when he saw what I was wearing and he was wearing a pair of shorts and tennis shoes. We went to the kennel and let “Sue”(the hound not Jim’s wife who the hound was named after))out,and she ran straight for Jim’s truck.I said she sure acted like she knew what was going on,and “Jim said “Hell yea,she knows!”
We put her in the truck center seat(which was very impressive,at least she wasn’t sitting on my lap)and went out through his back pasture.We soon arrived at what “Jim” called his “South-Forty”. Well up north we consider this saying as forty acres,,,Wrong,,,,here it is his south forty miles.We hardly covered 1/2 the ground and already had treed and harvested 10 well matured “coons” and I told him I was sold on this dog! we hunted a bit more cause he wanted to prove her ability was out ranked by no other dog in the country.We ended up with 8 more “coons” that night.
When we returned to “Jim’s” home I handed him the $500.00 and called for my wife to come see how the hound had done. She was amazed.We left that night with high hopes for the hound and possibly a few bucks for our pockets for the furs.
I knew that it was going to be a long 8 hours drive back home,but I didn’t want to stay another night.I wanted to get home have a good nights sleep and take Sue out for our first hunt.We were about half way through Indiana when we decided to stop for a break at the next rest area.
We stopped and went to the rest room and as we were getting out of the car Sue jumped out and ran like a bat out of hell for the small area of timber beyond the restrooms.Sue started hitting trail as soon as she hit the timber and I yelled at my wife”Now that’s one hell of a hound!”I went back to the car and grabbed a flashlight and we began to follow the baying hound.After what seemed like hours Sue “struck” tree.Of coarse by this time My wife and I were all tuckered out and yes we still had to piss.We were getting close,,,closer,,,,closer then I spotted a set of eyes,then another.I knew the lower set of eyes were Sues,but the higher set were huge!I thought “Damn,that’s one big coon!”
We got a bit closer,and I had already decided this was not a coon.A bit closer and I seen the upper eyes were only about 3 foot higher than Sues.
Then,,,we were close enough to see Sue and her”Coon”,,,yea right,,,she had “treed” a milk cow !!!
We got a lead on Sue and headed back to the rest area.I put Sue in the car,went to the restroom,waited for my wife and got back on the road.
We could not believe she had done this! She showed such great promise in her ability to tree coon.I called “Jim” when we finally got home.
“Jim” apologized and said”Y’all bring her back and I’ll give yur money back and then some fer your Trouble.” I told my wife what “Jim” had said and she grabbed the phone out of my hands and promptly said to “Jim”….”HELL NO!!! Do you know how much a gallon of milk cost up here???

The Hunt
Cheep Milk